yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
