i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hippo gnu deer
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also, beer. Big fan.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
