Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
