i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
