She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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