yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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