DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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