Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
