do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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