I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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