She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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