this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
