Swine flu. Run for my life!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
