There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
