I puked a lego.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dicks are not precious.
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