Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
