I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
