I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
