i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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