i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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