How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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