You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
