I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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