I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
