Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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