We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
