so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well I just put wine in my tea
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
