I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
