puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
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Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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