No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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