New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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