If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
