I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize