I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
