I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
