You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
