if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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