When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
