shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
