Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
