Just fell off a train. Bad.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
