i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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