I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
