barbara walters just said penis...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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