Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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