so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
