I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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