How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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