..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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