She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
