Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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