I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
