Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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