ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
