just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
