tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
