i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
