So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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