Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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