Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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