there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
