Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
