"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You took a bar mat shot.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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