I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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