ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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