So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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