Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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